So remember yesterday, and the talk about intention? Remember "Something really good is going to happen to me today"? It did. I was on the subway on my way to see the godsons (yes they are a HUGE focus in my life) and I struck up a conversation with a really nice lady. We talked about the blog, the book (which I HAD to pull out of my knapsack to show her) and clothing. When she asked me what I did for a living, I told her that, historically, I worked in retail, but was currently on unemployment. That was when the something really good happened. She asked me for my resume. Turns out she is an executive at a major department store. Luck? Maybe. But I believe it was intention, and God putting the right person in my path at the right moment.
THIS WORKS, PEOPLE!
Random Tangent: When did I start becoming one of those people I used to make fun of? You know the type. Up early in the morning, in an incurable (and seemingly contagious) good mood, smile on their face, ready to confront the world and all in it? I swear, the jaded New Yorker in me wants to slap some sense into this zippity-fucking-doo-dah person I am seeing in the mirror right in the mouth. My friends are telling me that I am more like my 'old self' than they have seen me in a long time(though I feel significantly different.) I never knew I was annoyingly chipper. Maybe I have just forgotten. Though, I must admit, I find it kind of, well, rude when people compare you with your 'old self.' Of course I am like my old self-he was me-I am simply a new and improved model. You know what, screw it. I like this new and improved version of the old me. Inner jaded beast monster (AKA 'the Liar') be damned!
Although, I must admit I want to pull a Nell Carter on the scale right now, grab it by it's skinny neck and call it a LIAR!
Let's go straight for day 8
I can guarantee you my award speech will not be: "I'd like to thank my significant other for reminding me every day what an insensitive, stupid, inept, disappointing, neglectful bitch I am" (direct quote from the Bible.) Because I am not any one of those things. I am not a talentless hack, I am not a bad cook, I am not a selfish partner.
There are 3 mantras for today, and I am going to do the work it takes to get used to the one that is giving me some discomfort, "bye-bye." I am very good at tuning out the world when need be, but I am not yet as good as I will be at saying "bye-bye" when it is warranted. I will admit I am better now than I was before when it comes to this. I am proud of myself for that. I recently ended an almost decade long friendship with someone who was a total user, and who insisted on calling me some horrible names. She even went so far as to tell someone I was in a relationship with to "run for the hills-you're too good for him" (with friends like that...) But what it took for me to finally cut the cord is for me to realize that I couldn't save her. She was living in my apartment (for free) and had my space packed with boxes, clothes strewn about, her 2 cats torturing mine, and the ONE this I had said no to (her bicycle coming into the house instead of her storage unit) she couldn't respect. After a few months of this, (and her complaining that it was 'too messy in here') I was simply done. I told her to leave. She intimated that I would be ending our friendship by doing so. I told her that she had done that a long time before by not respecting our friendship, or contributing to it. She was draining me. I had to say 'bye bye.' And I did. After that, I realized that she had never really been my friend at all. She didn't know how to be a friend (not that I always did either.) We are better off charting our own courses, and I hope she is also happy and growing.
Today, I am starting a list (those who know me well will balk in disbelief at the word 'list,' as I am famous for hating them) of the things which it is time to say 'bye bye' to. Not that I am going to tackle those 'bye bye's' all at once, but just to increase my awareness of the toxins in my system, and to begin eliminating them.
THIS WORKS, PEOPLE!
Random Tangent: When did I start becoming one of those people I used to make fun of? You know the type. Up early in the morning, in an incurable (and seemingly contagious) good mood, smile on their face, ready to confront the world and all in it? I swear, the jaded New Yorker in me wants to slap some sense into this zippity-fucking-doo-dah person I am seeing in the mirror right in the mouth. My friends are telling me that I am more like my 'old self' than they have seen me in a long time(though I feel significantly different.) I never knew I was annoyingly chipper. Maybe I have just forgotten. Though, I must admit, I find it kind of, well, rude when people compare you with your 'old self.' Of course I am like my old self-he was me-I am simply a new and improved model. You know what, screw it. I like this new and improved version of the old me. Inner jaded beast monster (AKA 'the Liar') be damned!
Although, I must admit I want to pull a Nell Carter on the scale right now, grab it by it's skinny neck and call it a LIAR!
Let's go straight for day 8
I can guarantee you my award speech will not be: "I'd like to thank my significant other for reminding me every day what an insensitive, stupid, inept, disappointing, neglectful bitch I am" (direct quote from the Bible.) Because I am not any one of those things. I am not a talentless hack, I am not a bad cook, I am not a selfish partner.
There are 3 mantras for today, and I am going to do the work it takes to get used to the one that is giving me some discomfort, "bye-bye." I am very good at tuning out the world when need be, but I am not yet as good as I will be at saying "bye-bye" when it is warranted. I will admit I am better now than I was before when it comes to this. I am proud of myself for that. I recently ended an almost decade long friendship with someone who was a total user, and who insisted on calling me some horrible names. She even went so far as to tell someone I was in a relationship with to "run for the hills-you're too good for him" (with friends like that...) But what it took for me to finally cut the cord is for me to realize that I couldn't save her. She was living in my apartment (for free) and had my space packed with boxes, clothes strewn about, her 2 cats torturing mine, and the ONE this I had said no to (her bicycle coming into the house instead of her storage unit) she couldn't respect. After a few months of this, (and her complaining that it was 'too messy in here') I was simply done. I told her to leave. She intimated that I would be ending our friendship by doing so. I told her that she had done that a long time before by not respecting our friendship, or contributing to it. She was draining me. I had to say 'bye bye.' And I did. After that, I realized that she had never really been my friend at all. She didn't know how to be a friend (not that I always did either.) We are better off charting our own courses, and I hope she is also happy and growing.
Today, I am starting a list (those who know me well will balk in disbelief at the word 'list,' as I am famous for hating them) of the things which it is time to say 'bye bye' to. Not that I am going to tackle those 'bye bye's' all at once, but just to increase my awareness of the toxins in my system, and to begin eliminating them.
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