It took me almost two days to face this one and write about it-sorry for the break.
Well, friends, the subject of weight alone makes all the feelings about him seem almost trivial. I have been fighting a battle with the bulge since I was probably 10 years old. That being said, NOBODY should be at Weight Watchers when they are 10 in my opinion, unless it is recommended by a doctor. As an adult who has spent my entire life thinking that i was fat I look back at photos of me from when I thought I was 'fat' and realize that a 32-34 inch waist (which I had in my teens and early 20's) is actually pretty healthy. At one point, I became borderline obsessed with not eating anything at all, and drinking all my nutritional needs, I dropped down to a 29 inch waist, but the price of feeling thin was paid by winding up in the hospital. Here's the thing: I feel just as fat when I was 180 pounds as I do when I weigh 240 (been both, currently somewhere in between.)
So how do I eject a feeling or a thought that is seemingly ingrained on my soul, and the negative body image that goes along with it? There are so many things I am going to do, and somehow, my body is going to have no choice but to get into synch with where my mind is, and where my goals are talking me. I have always hated exercise (even when I was a cheerleader) and I call the gym 'that modern-day torture chamber.' So, anyone who has anything that works, let me know, because other than a LOT of walking (hey it's NYC-we all walk) I don't really exercise all that much, and without anybody to be gym partners with (not talking about a 'him' here) I am not sure I could keep going to one if I started.
I am open, and going to pick up the 2 resources Cat mentions in the book. So, let me know what you think...
Until tomorrow, love and Light.
Well, friends, the subject of weight alone makes all the feelings about him seem almost trivial. I have been fighting a battle with the bulge since I was probably 10 years old. That being said, NOBODY should be at Weight Watchers when they are 10 in my opinion, unless it is recommended by a doctor. As an adult who has spent my entire life thinking that i was fat I look back at photos of me from when I thought I was 'fat' and realize that a 32-34 inch waist (which I had in my teens and early 20's) is actually pretty healthy. At one point, I became borderline obsessed with not eating anything at all, and drinking all my nutritional needs, I dropped down to a 29 inch waist, but the price of feeling thin was paid by winding up in the hospital. Here's the thing: I feel just as fat when I was 180 pounds as I do when I weigh 240 (been both, currently somewhere in between.)
So how do I eject a feeling or a thought that is seemingly ingrained on my soul, and the negative body image that goes along with it? There are so many things I am going to do, and somehow, my body is going to have no choice but to get into synch with where my mind is, and where my goals are talking me. I have always hated exercise (even when I was a cheerleader) and I call the gym 'that modern-day torture chamber.' So, anyone who has anything that works, let me know, because other than a LOT of walking (hey it's NYC-we all walk) I don't really exercise all that much, and without anybody to be gym partners with (not talking about a 'him' here) I am not sure I could keep going to one if I started.
I am open, and going to pick up the 2 resources Cat mentions in the book. So, let me know what you think...
Until tomorrow, love and Light.
Thank you for your last comments. I have my ups and down, finding it harder in the mornings. I don't know what's going to get me over my grief for my brother and marriage, hopefully with my friends, because my family doesn't seem to be here for me and God I will get through this.
ReplyDeleteI have lost close 100lbs since last year Cole but part of my loss was from surgery which now I got back 20lbs back. The way I did without the exercise is I changed my eating habits. I went from regular to whole grain, from wesson oil to olive oil, regular butter to smart butter, whole milk to skim milk, I stop eating beef because beef stays in your system and takes a longer time to acidify, I eat a full breakfast 3 eggs taking out 2 of the yolks. I replaced potatoes with brown jasmine rice. Eat plenty of dark green veggies. I use spinach mixed with other dark green lettuce leaves with walnuts, berries (preferably blue but others are good)and walnuts or pecans with zero Vinaigrette. I know we are not suppose to watch ABC so I just go to Dr OZ's site and look at the recipes which are healthy and good. I stop drinking beer. I use to tell myself that the zero cal beer was good right? wrong? They still have yeast in it! I switch to red wine! Eat less in your meals and eat more meals. The more meals you eat a day ups your metabolism. Then do your usual walking. Never weigh yourself but once a month! Always measure yourself (arms, thighs, neck, waist, hips) once a week. Keep a chart on what you eat and your measurements, weight, and how long you walk in minutes/miles/blocks! This helps in tracking just like you are doing here with reinventing Cole. The reason why I say only weight yourself once a month is sometime we get frustrated if we don't lose what we want to lose during a week. This keeps that frustration down. been there done that! I wish you luck!