So, day 13 was truly 'lucky' I scheduled the interview for Thursday (day 15) at 2PM. Can I really be the same person who was so upset just a few weeks ago? Yeah, I guess so. But I choose not to be. Sure, I am still pretty damned pissed off about the circumstances surrounding our breakup, and I even about once every three days indulge myself in wondering how he is/if the baby is born yet/are they even together? But, as my good friends Jesus and Jackie are prone to tell me 'It's none of your business anymore, Cole.' Cat says the same thing in the book this morning, with the addendum that my life is also none of his business anymore. Does that stop a part of me from wishing he would suddenly grow a brain and stumble across this blog? Not really. But I know better. More importantly, if he were reading (and I knew it) I think I would have a hard time being this honest about all this.
I was 100% blown away by something in the book today. Cat offers us a truly safe outlet for all those letters we want to write the person who we ended things with:mail them to her PO Box (no, I am not giving you the address-you're gonna have to get the book for that, and thus ends my shameless plug <smile>.) Yup. She will shred them, never read them, and you can get all that weight off your chest! This woman's generous nature never ceases to amaze me (nor does her ability to find a simple, yet creative solution to an age old problem.) I am big on practicality, if you haven't figured that out yet, and I truly appreciate a practical solution to an emotional situation. Following this plan and working this solution out is exactly that: practical. I don't find myself daunted by the emotional nature of the work I am doing here because the work makes sense to me. Maybe all those years in therapy (I recently had a therapist tell me I had been in therapy too much and that I should take a break or go to school to become a therapist, or both) have paid off. Maybe I am just open to the lessons now when I was not before. Maybe Cat is just the right teacher. Maybe all of the above. Honestly who cares? It is present today, and it is working for me, on more levels than I ever dreamed imaginable. Next stop:working on the weight issue...a bit more daunting, but I am really starting to believe I can do anything!
On the weight topic, I was trying on interview clothes today, so I could be all pressed and polished for tomorrow. Almost nothing fit. I was reduced to a momentary (ok, not so momentary) fit of tears in frustration. Something's not working there. I am eating well, eating less volume, and spreading it out better (5 small meals instead of 3 large.) But, one step at a time, right? I finally figured out an outfit: basic black suit (a bit old, but it fits) killer Hugo Boss white ribbed French cuff shirt with silver and Onyx cuff links, Hugo Boss geometric tie in a maroon, but that changes depending on the light, and black Boss loafers (told you I was a Boss ADDICT.) Maybe I will take a snapshot and send it to you guys in tomorrow's blog...that would be a nice change of pace-let me know what you think.
I am so nervous, but I got an email from my friend from the train and she said the company NEVER moves this fast on a resume, so that says a lot. I am sure something great is going to happen tomorrow! For all of us.
Until then, all my love and light!
I was 100% blown away by something in the book today. Cat offers us a truly safe outlet for all those letters we want to write the person who we ended things with:mail them to her PO Box (no, I am not giving you the address-you're gonna have to get the book for that, and thus ends my shameless plug <smile>.) Yup. She will shred them, never read them, and you can get all that weight off your chest! This woman's generous nature never ceases to amaze me (nor does her ability to find a simple, yet creative solution to an age old problem.) I am big on practicality, if you haven't figured that out yet, and I truly appreciate a practical solution to an emotional situation. Following this plan and working this solution out is exactly that: practical. I don't find myself daunted by the emotional nature of the work I am doing here because the work makes sense to me. Maybe all those years in therapy (I recently had a therapist tell me I had been in therapy too much and that I should take a break or go to school to become a therapist, or both) have paid off. Maybe I am just open to the lessons now when I was not before. Maybe Cat is just the right teacher. Maybe all of the above. Honestly who cares? It is present today, and it is working for me, on more levels than I ever dreamed imaginable. Next stop:working on the weight issue...a bit more daunting, but I am really starting to believe I can do anything!
On the weight topic, I was trying on interview clothes today, so I could be all pressed and polished for tomorrow. Almost nothing fit. I was reduced to a momentary (ok, not so momentary) fit of tears in frustration. Something's not working there. I am eating well, eating less volume, and spreading it out better (5 small meals instead of 3 large.) But, one step at a time, right? I finally figured out an outfit: basic black suit (a bit old, but it fits) killer Hugo Boss white ribbed French cuff shirt with silver and Onyx cuff links, Hugo Boss geometric tie in a maroon, but that changes depending on the light, and black Boss loafers (told you I was a Boss ADDICT.) Maybe I will take a snapshot and send it to you guys in tomorrow's blog...that would be a nice change of pace-let me know what you think.
I am so nervous, but I got an email from my friend from the train and she said the company NEVER moves this fast on a resume, so that says a lot. I am sure something great is going to happen tomorrow! For all of us.
Until then, all my love and light!
Hey Cole,
ReplyDeleteIt seems like a combination of things is working in your favor right now to engage in this "self-healing". Definitely Cat's insightful book, but equally important, is your readiness and maturity at this stage of your life. I think, with age, those of us who are open to change learn to adapt better ways of coping with life's challenges. You wanted to change, so that's what's happening...and I think you are doing a GREAT job at honoring yourself! Good luck & lots of success with your interview. As articulate and dedicated you are to your causes, I know that you will shine! (I guess that I better backtrack on your blog to find out what you are interviewing for!) LOL ~ Your friend, Paulette
I wish you the best on your interview but there is no doubt in my mind you will get great reviews and the job is yours. I know what you mean on the part of what you said, to just wonder how they are doing, I think that is just a normal reaction for any of us who has a good heart. That is great for Cat wanting the letters but she surely don't want any from me because I will be hearing the medics knocking on my door with straight jackets on hand! Tell me Cole, did it bother you the other night to hear me cry as I did? Because I wonder if it is any good for you to hear my outbursts of heartbreak! Just asking?????
ReplyDeleteDarlene, it is honestly an honor to be able to call you a friend, and to take myself out of my own world of problems. I am glad I was able to give you a shoulder and an ear. Any time you need that, my friend, you have it.
ReplyDelete