I have learned that since my introduction to this book, I have become an advocate for the power within each of us to own our own hearts. In a conversation tonight with someone who is on day 1 (and who bought the book BEFORE the breakup at my urging!) I said the following:
You will VERY VERY soon realize that the BEST relationship in your life is about to take a major turn for the better
the relationship you have with YOU
I know I sound like I drank Cat's Kool Aid, and maybe I did, but damn it is some good shit!
Wow! Where is that eternal pessimist who used to live in my brain? I guess he finally got the note and decided to get out before he got thrown out. Every now and then, I still hear him gnawing and gnashing his teeth, chomping for a way back into my head-space. When I hear that familiar bitter tune begin to play, i visualize myself pressing the "EJECT" button on my internal CD player (okay, okay, in my head, it is actually a cassette tape player LOL!) Since starting this portion of my journey, I have been tempted and challenged and lured and pulled and pushed in many ways, not the least of which was by an old flame I had never really gotten over. What I realized, after that now aborted attempt at repairing something which was not only long broken, but just completely wrong for the person I am today, is that the past really can just be left where it is. I have created a new affirmation set for myself today, and it is on an index card on my bedroom mirror, Where I can see it every morning and evening. Feel free to use the set if you like. The card reads:
I don't have to go back to learn from the past.
I don't need to revisit past experiences to understand what brought them to be, or to avid repeating them.
Today, I am only moving FORWARD.
I am so grateful my friend reached out to me at this particular time, so I could be there with all the tools Cat gave me, and helped me find within myself, to hold her hand and give her a shoulder to cry on and a friend to rally for her when she feels she can't do it for herself. I am grateful for the heartbreaks I have experienced in my own life. My cup of gratitude is overwhelmingly full, and I am even more grateful that I am able to share it with all of you. Every tear, every triumph, every lost pound (there have been 45 of them so far!) every slip, and every temptation, I know I can come to my keyboard and share without fear, because you guys are my friends. Even those of you I have not met face to face have given me more strength than you can possibly imagine.
May the Force be with all of you-ALWAYS!
Love and Light-
Cole
