So, I have been talking to someone for a while. I like him, yet there are some things that I would normally find to be "deal breakers" that I seem to be willing to consider compromise on.
A) He's a smoker.
B) He is very much of the "my way or the highway" mentality.
C) He wants an open relationship.
Let's look at these one at a time:
A: He's a smoker.
Okay, let me start by saying this is the least of the concerns, because other then the personal "yuck" factor, it is something that can be kept outdoors and away from me. Does it bug the living shit out of me? Yes. Would it, by itself, eliminate him from consideration? No.
B) He is very much of the "my way or the highway" mentality.
I am a very independent person, and this guy is very into the idea of having someone submit to his whims, down to suggesting I wear more v-necks. Not for nothing, but I have worked in fashion almost my entire life, and am pretty well aware of how to dress myself. Additionally, I believe that, all things considered, I have done a pretty damn good job handling myself up to this point. This is a BIG issue, and will be one of the deciding factors.
C) He wants an open relationship.
Okay, I know my heterosexual friends will balk at this even being an issue on which I am willing to play ball. Unfortunately, there are very few truly monogamous gay men on the planet. And I long ago made a deal with myself: I can handle ANYTHING as long as it is an honest and open dialog. Here's the problem: when I combine it with B, it could lead to situations where I am completely uncomfortable (3somes, etc.) or which would cause me to be in a position where I was having multiple partners. While, I am accepting enough to get that virtually anything with a penis is going to cheat, I am not wired that way myself, and do not want to be put in a position where it would come into play.
I know, this seems like a cut and dried situation, but there are some amazing qualities this man has.
(COMPLETED LATER)
So, I started this entry a few weeks ago, and decided to give it a shot in the meantime. My fears proved justified, and I very rapidly put an end to the dating experience with him. All in all, we dated less than a week, and it looks like we will wind up being friends, which is where I was headed with the entry to begin with...
Love and Light!
A) He's a smoker.
B) He is very much of the "my way or the highway" mentality.
C) He wants an open relationship.
Let's look at these one at a time:
A: He's a smoker.
Okay, let me start by saying this is the least of the concerns, because other then the personal "yuck" factor, it is something that can be kept outdoors and away from me. Does it bug the living shit out of me? Yes. Would it, by itself, eliminate him from consideration? No.
B) He is very much of the "my way or the highway" mentality.
I am a very independent person, and this guy is very into the idea of having someone submit to his whims, down to suggesting I wear more v-necks. Not for nothing, but I have worked in fashion almost my entire life, and am pretty well aware of how to dress myself. Additionally, I believe that, all things considered, I have done a pretty damn good job handling myself up to this point. This is a BIG issue, and will be one of the deciding factors.
C) He wants an open relationship.
Okay, I know my heterosexual friends will balk at this even being an issue on which I am willing to play ball. Unfortunately, there are very few truly monogamous gay men on the planet. And I long ago made a deal with myself: I can handle ANYTHING as long as it is an honest and open dialog. Here's the problem: when I combine it with B, it could lead to situations where I am completely uncomfortable (3somes, etc.) or which would cause me to be in a position where I was having multiple partners. While, I am accepting enough to get that virtually anything with a penis is going to cheat, I am not wired that way myself, and do not want to be put in a position where it would come into play.
I know, this seems like a cut and dried situation, but there are some amazing qualities this man has.
(COMPLETED LATER)
So, I started this entry a few weeks ago, and decided to give it a shot in the meantime. My fears proved justified, and I very rapidly put an end to the dating experience with him. All in all, we dated less than a week, and it looks like we will wind up being friends, which is where I was headed with the entry to begin with...
Love and Light!
