So, there it is. I have this deep seated faith in God/Universe/Light, and I am not alone in that. In some of the darkest and most dangerous moments in my life (face down in the dirt in Central Park with a gun held to the back of my head being raped then robbed in 2004, for one) I have been washed with the sense of calm that I can only attribute to the direct intervention of a higher power. In the most happy times of my life, I remember to share my light and love, as it has been shared with me as a gift from the Universe, I am learning now that it is even more important than before to share in the dark times, when my heart is sore and broken, and my faith in humanity is shaken to the core. If I hadn't shared with Cat on Twitter, I may have never started this journey, if I hadn't decided to blog about it while I did it, I don't know if I could have forced myself to continue it.
To me, the positioning of the right people or opportunities in our lives is proof positive of the existence of God. Cat brought my attention to the book, then God placed the idea in my head for the blog, and brought each of you to it for some reason. Without the book, and my faith in the plan in it, I may have never met Jeanine on the train, never had the interview (Which went so wonderfully well, by the way!) and may never have felt that I truly am in control of my own destiny. God gives us the tools to survive our trials. We have to choose to use them, however. I could have died that morning in the park, but somehow, managed to maintain my calm and not agitate my assailant. I heard the gun cock, felt it, cold and hard against the back of my head, and I just let it all go, asked God to take over. He did, and I am here to tell the tale. I knew then and there that God had plans for me, and that they did not include dying in the park that morning. I have dedicated my life's energy since then to finding my way back onto the path. Sometimes, it is so hard to just trust that the right thing will happen if you do what is required of you. I know I, like so many others, want to try to help the Universe along, accelerate the process. I forget to enjoy the journey sometimes.
I am so grateful for the presence of God in my life, and for the gift of life, and the ability to continue forward, sharing and being shared with. My commitment to me, and to you, is to remember in the times of trial, that there is much to be grateful for, even when it seems there is nothing going for us. I am going to ask you guys to hold me to this. Remind me that there is always a tomorrow to look forward to.
Talk to you guys after church! Light and Love and the blessings of family and cherished friends to all of you.
To me, the positioning of the right people or opportunities in our lives is proof positive of the existence of God. Cat brought my attention to the book, then God placed the idea in my head for the blog, and brought each of you to it for some reason. Without the book, and my faith in the plan in it, I may have never met Jeanine on the train, never had the interview (Which went so wonderfully well, by the way!) and may never have felt that I truly am in control of my own destiny. God gives us the tools to survive our trials. We have to choose to use them, however. I could have died that morning in the park, but somehow, managed to maintain my calm and not agitate my assailant. I heard the gun cock, felt it, cold and hard against the back of my head, and I just let it all go, asked God to take over. He did, and I am here to tell the tale. I knew then and there that God had plans for me, and that they did not include dying in the park that morning. I have dedicated my life's energy since then to finding my way back onto the path. Sometimes, it is so hard to just trust that the right thing will happen if you do what is required of you. I know I, like so many others, want to try to help the Universe along, accelerate the process. I forget to enjoy the journey sometimes.
I am so grateful for the presence of God in my life, and for the gift of life, and the ability to continue forward, sharing and being shared with. My commitment to me, and to you, is to remember in the times of trial, that there is much to be grateful for, even when it seems there is nothing going for us. I am going to ask you guys to hold me to this. Remind me that there is always a tomorrow to look forward to.
Talk to you guys after church! Light and Love and the blessings of family and cherished friends to all of you.
It is really strange Cole that you and I have been through similar ordeals. We have to remember in our brains that we are no longer a "Victim" but consider ourselves a "Survivor". I have written a letter on this since I deal with these issues everyday of my life. My mother was raped, I am the product of that rape to know of my story you will need to go to http://www.myspace.com/smokeegyrl also I wrote a poem called "Triggers of Trauma" and a letter called "I'm a Survivor" which I will post in my blog since you are following me. I chose to help others and just to know that you may help one person is a blessing. I have been a victim of rape and domestic abuse both physical (past) and mental/emotional (presently) I am a Survivor and will prsently survive this onset of abuse.
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