(my apologies for the delay on these-transcribing took a while)
Wow, if it is one thing I hate doing, it is waiting. And that is exactly what I have been doing for over a week now, with no response from the interviews. But patience, they say, is a virtue. I would like to be more patient, so here I am, giving it everything I have to not pick up the phone and follow up (at least until 7/1.)
It is funny to me that this journey started because someone else couldn't keep it in their pants, and I wound up standing up for myself, and setting limits. There was a time when that was a completely foreign idea to me, and setting limits felt a little too much like being the 'nagging wife.' Today, however, I am embracing the side of myself that knows how to say no. While I may not want to, I thank him for pushing me, for every awful, horrible moment, for every tear, for every doubt. Without those, I could not have made it here. So, I thank ASH for the role he played in pushing me beyond my comfort zone, the role he played in getting me to say "buh-bye" and the role he played in bringing me to this process. Without the pain, I never would have made the gains I have. That being said, I still think he is an ass, and I am glad to be rid of the lies and infidelity.
Today, the book covers more than I could possibly condense, so I will suffice it to say that in my life, my father is one of the personality types mentioned today (The World's Foremost Authority) and I seem to have had a knack in my past for falling for some combination of two others (the Bully/the Perpetual Victim.) How can a victim be a bully, you may ask? They learned from a young age that the only way to feel in control of their constant 'victim' status was to create other 'victims' to keep around them (at least that is my take on it.) We have all heard the old saying 'Misery loves company.' A bully who grew up a victim loves to create his own company.
I love that Cat is giving us early warning systems here. It will definitely help to refer back to these when I get around to saying yes to the date invites I have been turning down lately...
Until Tomorrow, Love and Light!
Wow, if it is one thing I hate doing, it is waiting. And that is exactly what I have been doing for over a week now, with no response from the interviews. But patience, they say, is a virtue. I would like to be more patient, so here I am, giving it everything I have to not pick up the phone and follow up (at least until 7/1.)
It is funny to me that this journey started because someone else couldn't keep it in their pants, and I wound up standing up for myself, and setting limits. There was a time when that was a completely foreign idea to me, and setting limits felt a little too much like being the 'nagging wife.' Today, however, I am embracing the side of myself that knows how to say no. While I may not want to, I thank him for pushing me, for every awful, horrible moment, for every tear, for every doubt. Without those, I could not have made it here. So, I thank ASH for the role he played in pushing me beyond my comfort zone, the role he played in getting me to say "buh-bye" and the role he played in bringing me to this process. Without the pain, I never would have made the gains I have. That being said, I still think he is an ass, and I am glad to be rid of the lies and infidelity.
Today, the book covers more than I could possibly condense, so I will suffice it to say that in my life, my father is one of the personality types mentioned today (The World's Foremost Authority) and I seem to have had a knack in my past for falling for some combination of two others (the Bully/the Perpetual Victim.) How can a victim be a bully, you may ask? They learned from a young age that the only way to feel in control of their constant 'victim' status was to create other 'victims' to keep around them (at least that is my take on it.) We have all heard the old saying 'Misery loves company.' A bully who grew up a victim loves to create his own company.
I love that Cat is giving us early warning systems here. It will definitely help to refer back to these when I get around to saying yes to the date invites I have been turning down lately...
Until Tomorrow, Love and Light!
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